For thirty-something years I thought I was the only person at the party who couldn't find the beat. Everyone else just had it. They swayed, they clapped on time, they danced like their bodies were in on a secret I'd never been told. I stood there doing the math — counting, watching feet, trying to reverse-engineer something that was supposed to be automatic. I thought it meant something about me. Uncoordinated. Unmusical. A little bit broken in a way that was almost too embar