Excerpt: Understanding Narcissism in Leadership and Teams— and What Leaders Can Do
- Apr 14
- 23 min read
A Preview from the full Leadership Course Module on “Narcissism in the Workplace.”
🧠 Narcissism in Leadership & Teams
Narcissism isn’t just a leadership issue.
It shows up at every level of an organization—sometimes loud and obvious, often masked by charm or ambition.
In leadership, it takes the form of power, control, and ego in a suit.
In teams, it appears as sabotage, gaslighting, and the slow erosion of trust.
👉 The excerpt below is taken from the section “Narcissism in Teams” — part of a larger course module that explores both team dynamics and narcissistic leadership in depth.
This module explores:
🔍 How narcissistic traits disrupt team collaboration
🔍 How leaders can recognize and respond—without getting pulled into the drama
💡 This isn’t about diagnosing. It’s about pattern recognition.And it’s about giving leaders real tools to protect collaboration, clarity, and psychological safety.
What you’ll find in this excerpt:
🎯 Real-world scenarios
🎯 Tactics like DARVO, love bombing, gaslighting
🎯 Leadership strategies to set boundaries with empathy (and precision)
📌 This is just a glimpse—but it gives you a solid sense of the depth and structure inside the leadership programs.
Understanding Narcissistic Team Members
Narcissism isn’t just a leadership issue—it exists at all levels of an organization. In teams, narcissistic individuals can be charismatic, ambitious, and high-performing, but they can also be manipulative, competitive to a fault, and toxic.
Understanding how narcissism manifests in team members, why certain environments reward or enable these behaviors, and how cultural and workplace structures influence narcissism is key to maintaining team balance and productivity.
📌 Important Clarification:
This guide is not about labeling, diagnosing, or pathologizing individuals.
It does not aim to identify or treat Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), nor should it be used as a clinical tool.
Instead, this is a leadership and team awareness resource designed to help managers recognize behavioral patterns that may disrupt collaboration and team well-being.
It’s about awareness, not accusation—and about equipping leaders with strategies to maintain healthy dynamics, regardless of why certain behaviors emerge.
Many problematic behaviors—such as gaslighting, manipulation, credit-hoarding, or even love bombing—can follow recognizable patterns.
These behaviors often appear charming or harmless at first (e.g., excessive praise or sudden inclusion), but may be used strategically to create emotional dependency or destabilize trust.
Tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) are also common.
Understanding these dynamics allows leaders to respond constructively and consistently, rather than getting drawn into emotional or retaliatory conflict.
🧠 What Is Narcissism, Really?
At its core, narcissism is the art of making everything about me—and needing everyone else to agree.
More formally, narcissism is a pattern of behavior marked by:
An inflated sense of self-importance
A deep craving for admiration and recognition
A lack of genuine empathy for others
Narcissistic individuals often believe they’re the smartest person in the room—even when they’re not—and they’ll work hard to keep the spotlight firmly on themselves.
Charm? Absolutely. Accountability? Not so much.
They may inflate their achievements, downplay others’ contributions, and become defensive or dismissive when challenged.
Behind the scenes, they often rely on manipulation—like gaslighting, blame-shifting, or playing the victim—to maintain control.
🧩 Important note:
Narcissism exists on a spectrum.
Some people simply have big personalities or high confidence (no harm done).
But when narcissistic traits consistently undermine trust, collaboration, or psychological safety, it stops being a quirk—and starts being a problem.
Defining Narcissism in a Team Context
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A high-performing sales team has one member who consistently outperforms the rest.
They are charismatic, confident, and persuasive—but also demand constant praise, belittle teammates, and undermine others to stay ahead.
Are they simply a high achiever, or is this a sign of workplace narcissism?
Not all self-confident or ambitious employees are narcissists, but some exhibit toxic narcissistic behaviors that disrupt teamwork, collaboration, and trust.
Narcissistic Traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
✅ Narcissistic Traits (Common & Situational)
Confidence that can border on arrogance
Self-promotion and desire for recognition
Competitive nature, thriving in high-stakes environments
Sensitivity to criticism but still functional in a team
❌ Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) (Chronic & Harmful)
Lack of empathy and disregard for colleagues’ well-being
Manipulative behaviors (gaslighting, undermining, backstabbing)
Inflated sense of superiority and entitlement
Hostile response to perceived criticism
📌 Key Insight:
Most narcissistic team members fall on a spectrum—some are harmlessly self-involved, while others are destructive forces in a team.
Recognizing where someone falls on this spectrum is key to managing their impact effectively.
🔍 Recognizing Manipulation Tactics: Gaslighting, Love Bombing, & DARVO in the Workplace
Some behaviors don’t start as red flags—they start as compliments, charisma, or confidence.
But in the hands of someone manipulative, even praise and feedback can be weaponized.
Here's how three common tactics show up at work—and why they matter.
🔥 Gaslighting
Definition: Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where someone causes you to doubt your own perception, memory, or sanity.
Over time, this eats away at confidence and team trust.
“Gaslighting doesn’t always sound loud. Sometimes it sounds like: ‘You’re being sensitive.’” Alex Robuste
Workplace examples:
“That’s not what I said—you must’ve misunderstood.”
“We never agreed on that deadline. You’re imagining things.”
“I gave you clear instructions.” (They didn’t.)
“You’re being dramatic.” (After you calmly point out an issue.)
📌 Why it matters:
Gaslighting creates a work environment where people stop trusting themselves—or their colleagues.
It leads to silence, stress, and second-guessing instead of collaboration and confidence.
💐 Love Bombing
Definition: Love bombing is when someone uses excessive praise, attention, or inclusion to create emotional dependence or gain control.
It feels flattering—until it doesn’t.
“Love bombing isn’t love. It’s leverage in a velvet glove.” Alex Robuste
Workplace examples:
“You’re a total rockstar! I’ve never worked with anyone like you.” (You’ve been on the team a week.)
You’re suddenly invited to high-level meetings, praised in every Slack channel, and made to feel like a rising star.
Then you push back, say no, or miss a deadline... and you’re suddenly ignored, criticized, or iced out.
📌 Why it matters:
Love bombing is control disguised as kindness. It creates conditional loyalty—you’re celebrated when compliant, but discarded when you show autonomy.
🧠 DARVO – Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender
Definition: DARVO is a defense mechanism used to shut down accountability.
The manipulator denies what happened, attacks the person who brings it up, and flips the script to make themselves the victim.
How it looks at work:
🔁 You give feedback:
“Hey, I felt uncomfortable when you dismissed my idea in front of the team.”
🎭 Response:
Deny: “I never did that.”
Attack: “You’re overreacting. You always take things personally.”
Reverse Victim & Offender: “Now I feel attacked. I can’t even say anything without being accused!”
More examples:
You ask for clarification on a miscommunication:→ “Why are you coming after me? I’m doing my best!”
You raise a concern about sabotage or exclusion:→ “This is just another witch hunt. People are jealous of my success.”
📌 Why it matters:
DARVO shuts down honest dialogue. It confuses the conversation, turns accountability into conflict, and makes it risky to speak up.
It’s a red flag for toxic leadership or team dynamics.
Classic phrases with DARVO flavor:
🛑 “That’s not what I said—you must’ve misunderstood.”
(Denial of facts + implying you’re too emotional or confused.)
🛑 “We never agreed on that deadline. You’re imagining things.”
(Shifts reality, then paints your concern as delusion.)
🛑 “I gave you clear instructions.”
(They didn’t.)(Now it’s your fault for not "getting it.")
🛑 “You’re being dramatic.”
(Dismisses your boundaries as irrational. Bonus points if said with a smirk.)
🛑 “Wow, I guess I can’t say anything without being attacked anymore.”
(Suddenly, they’re the victim—because you asked for respect.)
🛑 “I just care so much about this team, and now I feel ganged up on.”
(Emotional manipulation in faux-empathetic wrapping.)
🛑 “People are always targeting me when I succeed.”
(Victimhood + ego defense = DARVO gold.)
🎯 What To Listen For
Not just what they say, but how they make you feel:
Confused about what just happened
Guilty for speaking up
Worried you’ve done something wrong—even when you haven’t
Afraid to raise the same issue again
That’s not conflict resolution.
That’s emotional deflection.
And it erodes trust—fast.
💡 Pro Move for Leaders:
Call out the pattern without escalating the drama:
🔹 Instead of arguing about “what was said,” stay objective: “Let’s focus on the impact, not the intent.”
🔹 Instead of engaging in the blame-flip: “This isn’t about assigning blame—it’s about making sure we’re aligned moving forward.”
🔹 Set boundaries early: “I won’t continue this conversation if it turns into personal accusations. Let’s keep this productive.”
🧲 The Empath–Narcissist Trap: Why It Happens & How to Break It:
Why Empaths and Narcissists Are Like Magnets
It’s no accident that empaths and narcissists often end up in the same professional orbit.
Empaths are natural fixers—tuned into others' emotions, generous with support, and often conflict-avoidant.
Narcissists, on the other hand, thrive on attention, control, and emotional validation.
The empath’s instinct to heal pairs all too well with the narcissist’s hunger to be seen—until it becomes a one-way emotional drain disguised as teamwork.
The result?
The empath burns out trying to manage everyone’s feelings (including the narcissist’s), while the narcissist rises unchecked, using charm and chaos to avoid accountability.
The solution isn’t to harden the empath or banish the narcissist—it’s to build boundaries.
Leaders must set clear team norms, protect emotional labor from being exploited, and normalize direct feedback.
Empaths can still lead with heart—but with structure, not self-sacrifice.
🧲 Empaths vs. Narcissists in the Workplace
Empath | Narcissist | |
Core Traits | Emotionally attuned, generous, compassionate | Charismatic, self-focused, attention-seeking |
Workplace Behavior | Supports others quietly, avoids conflict, overextends themselves | Seeks spotlight, dominates conversations, undermines peers |
Motivation | To create harmony and help others succeed | To gain admiration, control, and personal validation |
Response to Feedback | Internalizes and self-blames | Deflects, attacks, or plays the victim (DARVO) |
Team Impact | Becomes emotionally drained, invisible, over-responsible | Gains influence, destabilizes collaboration, avoids accountability |
Vulnerability | Struggles with saying no or setting limits | Exploits others’ emotional labor and boundaries |
📌 When left unbalanced, this dynamic creates burnout for the empath and power for the narcissist. Leadership is responsible for setting guardrails that protect both people and performance.
🧩 How Love Bombing & Gaslighting Often Work Together
In narcissistic dynamics, these tactics are often used in cycles:
Idealize – Intense praise or inclusion (love bombing)
Devalue – Subtle dismissal, micromanagement, or exclusion
Manipulate – Deny previous actions or shift blame (gaslighting)
This cycle reinforces control and keeps others on edge, unsure of where they stand.
💡 Leadership Takeaway:
Gaslighting = You’re made to doubt yourself
Love Bombing = Praise used to control, not uplift
DARVO = You speak up, and suddenly you are the problem
Recognizing manipulative patterns like gaslighting and love bombing is critical not for judgment—but for clarity.
They’re not always easy to spot because they often begin as charm, competence, or even support.
But when they’re used to control others or destabilize collaboration, they become toxic—and leaders need to be equipped to interrupt the pattern with structure, boundaries, and support. You can build systems that shut them down.
Leaders don’t need to diagnose—they just need to protect clarity, safety, and trust.
Why Narcissists Thrive in Teams
The Workplace as a Stage for Narcissists
✅ 1. Desire for Attention & Recognition
Narcissistic team members crave the spotlight—they work best when they can outshine others.
They may overemphasize their individual contributions and dismiss team efforts.
✅ 2. Attraction to High-Achieving Environments
Fast-paced, competitive workplaces reward individual success, unintentionally encouraging narcissistic behavior.
Example: In high-stakes industries (finance, tech, law), narcissists can be seen as "hungry go-getters" rather than toxic disruptors.
✅ 3. Mastery of Office Politics
Narcissistic team members excel at impression management—knowing exactly who to impress and when.
They often cultivate relationships with leadership to position themselves as indispensable.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Silicon Valley’s "Superstar Culture" – Many companies reward individual genius over teamwork, allowing high-functioning narcissists to thrive—until team cohesion and ethics collapse under the weight of unchecked ego.
🌍 Cultural and Contextual Nuances
How Culture Shapes the Perception of Narcissistic Traits
Narcissistic behaviors don’t exist in a vacuum—they're filtered through cultural values, workplace norms, and social expectations.
🌐 Across cultures, the same behavior may be seen as inspiring leadership—or inappropriate self-promotion.
Here are a few common (but not universal) patterns:
✅ Western, Individualistic Cultures
e.g. US, UK, Australia
Tend to value assertiveness, personal achievement, and self-promotion.
Narcissistic traits may be mistaken for leadership potential—especially when confidence is prized over collaboration.
Example: A bold, outspoken employee is praised for "executive presence" rather than seen as arrogant.
✅ Eastern, Collectivist Cultures
e.g. Japan, South Korea, China
Often emphasize humility, harmony, and group alignment.
Overly self-focused behavior may clash with expectations and trigger social pushback.
Example: A narcissistic team member might face quiet resistance or be excluded from key conversations.
✅ Relationship-Oriented Cultures
e.g. parts of Latin America and Southern Europe
Personal connection, charisma, and relational warmth are key leadership qualities.
This can make it more challenging to distinguish between authentic warmth and strategic emotional manipulation.
Example: A highly charismatic colleague is celebrated—until patterns of control or favoritism emerge.
📌 Key Insight:
No culture is “right” or “wrong” in its lens.
But for international teams, recognizing these nuances is essential for managing personality dynamics across borders—and building trust that transcends individual styles.
Navigating Narcissism in Remote & Hybrid Teams
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A remote employee dominates virtual meetings, frequently interrupts colleagues, and takes full credit for collaborative projects.
Because leadership rarely sees behind-the-scenes interactions, their toxic behaviors go unchecked.
✅ How Remote Work Amplifies Narcissistic Behavior
Lack of direct supervision allows narcissists to curate their image more easily.
Digital communication gaps make it harder to detect manipulation, gaslighting, or undermining.
Virtual meetings reward "loudest voice wins" dynamics, enabling narcissists to control conversations.
Managing Narcissists in Virtual & Hybrid Workplaces
✅ 1. Set Clear Team Expectations
Establish collaborative credit-sharing practices to prevent narcissists from claiming all successes.
Example: Use team-based performance evaluations instead of individual-only KPIs.
✅ 2. Implement Structured Speaking Turns in Meetings
Prevent dominant personalities from hijacking discussions.
Example: Use round-robin formats where each team member gets equal speaking time.
✅ 3. Require Transparent Documentation
Ensure project contributions are trackable, limiting opportunities for narcissists to exaggerate their impact.
Example: Use shared task management tools (Asana, Trello, Jira) to track individual work.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 The Downside of "Digital Nomad Culture" – Some high-profile remote companies have struggled with narcissistic employees gaming remote systems, making it difficult to track actual contributions vs. self-promotion.
Traits of Narcissistic Team Members
Narcissistic team members aren’t always overtly toxic—in fact, they often bring valuable qualities to a team.
Their confidence, risk tolerance, and drive for success can be assets in competitive environments. However, when unchecked, their self-serving behaviors can erode trust, suppress innovation, and disrupt collaboration.
Recognizing the full spectrum of traits—both positive and negative—is the key to leveraging their strengths while mitigating their harmful tendencies.
Positive Traits: The High-Functioning Narcissist
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A sales executive commands attention in meetings, motivates the team with big-picture vision, and closes high-stakes deals.
Their confidence inspires others, and their relentless drive pushes the team to exceed targets.
Not all narcissistic traits are harmful—many of the world’s top performers, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders exhibit high-functioning narcissism. When properly managed, these individuals can be powerful assets to a team.
When Narcissistic Traits Work in a Team Setting
✅ 1. Confidence & Charisma That Inspire Others
They naturally take the lead in high-pressure situations, rallying the team toward ambitious goals.
Example: A charismatic strategist in a marketing team pitches bold ideas that inspire client buy-in.
✅ 2. Boldness in Decision-Making & Risk-Taking
They are not afraid to take big swings when others hesitate.
Example: A narcissistic engineer pushes for a radical redesign, leading to breakthrough innovation.
✅ 3. A Drive for Excellence That Elevates Performance
Their hunger for success can be contagious, raising the performance bar for others.
Example: A competitive product manager challenges teammates to outperform industry standards.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Steve Jobs at Apple – Jobs was notoriously difficult but his obsession with perfection and visionary boldness led to some of the greatest tech innovations of all time.
Negative Traits: The Toxic Narcissist in a Team
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A team member dominates every meeting, dismissing colleagues’ input.
They undermine peers in private, take full credit for group efforts, and resist feedback when challenged.
Morale plummets, and talented employees start leaving the company.
Narcissists don’t just compete—they manipulate, exploit, and sabotage.
Their need for dominance, admiration, and control can make them team-killers if their behavior isn’t addressed.
When Narcissistic Traits Become Destructive
❌ 1. Overpowering Conversations & Dismissing Others’ Ideas
They monopolize meetings, shutting down input that doesn’t align with their vision.
Example: A developer refuses to consider alternative solutions, pushing their own flawed approach.
❌ 2. Undermining Colleagues to Appear Superior
They secretly discredit or sabotage coworkers to stay ahead.
Example: A marketing lead “forgets” to invite a key team member to a client meeting, making themselves look like the main contributor.
❌ 3. Resistance to Feedback & Accountability
They react aggressively to constructive criticism, often blaming others instead of reflecting on their actions.
Example: A team member blames IT for a failed project, even though they ignored warnings about technical issues.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Travis Kalanick (Uber’s Toxic Culture) – While Kalanick pushed Uber to global dominance, his toxic, ultra-competitive culture led to massive legal issues, high turnover, and leadership scandals.
Impact on Innovation & Creativity
💭 Why Narcissists Can Both Fuel and Kill Innovation
Narcissistic team members often drive ambitious projects forward—but they also crush creativity by suppressing diverse voices.
Suppressing Others’ Ideas to Maintain Dominance
❌ 1. Rejecting Others’ Contributions
They fear losing status, so they invalidate or downplay teammates’ ideas.
Example: A narcissistic creative director rejects a junior designer’s concept, only to present the same idea as their own later.
❌ 2. Creating a Fear-Based Brainstorming Culture
When team members are afraid to challenge or contradict them, innovation stalls.
Example: A startup founder’s rigid vision prevents the company from pivoting, leading to stagnation.
How to Harness Their Boldness for Calculated Risks & Visionary Thinking
✅ 1. Assign Them High-Stakes, Short-Term Projects
Keep them engaged in challenging work without giving them control over long-term team dynamics.
Example: A narcissistic strategist thrives when given a high-impact product launch to own.
✅ 2. Require Data-Backed Decision-Making
Use structured decision frameworks (e.g., pros vs. cons analysis, voting systems) to prevent one person from dominating innovation discussions.
Example: A narcissistic executive must justify their "big idea" with market research, reducing emotional decision-making.
✅ 3. Pair Them with Collaborative Counterbalances
Partner them with team-oriented, emotionally intelligent colleagues who can manage their excesses.
Example: A bold, risk-taking team lead is paired with a detail-oriented project manager who ensures feasibility.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Elon Musk & Tesla’s Engineers – Musk’s aggressive leadership style has driven groundbreaking innovation, but Tesla’s top engineers act as counterbalances, ensuring bold ideas remain technically and financially feasible.
The Impact on Team Dynamics
A team thrives on trust, collaboration, and mutual respect—but when a narcissistic team member enters the equation, power struggles, resentment, and dysfunction can follow. Their need for dominance and admiration creates tensions, lowers morale, and hinders innovation.
Understanding how narcissistic behavior affects team cohesion is the first step in preventing long-term damage and ensuring every team member has a voice.
Tensions and Conflicts: The Narcissist as a Team Disruptor
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A high-performing product team delivers a groundbreaking feature update.
The work was a collective effort, but in the company-wide meeting, one team member takes full credit.
They minimize the contributions of others, and when challenged, they dismiss complaints as jealousy.
Over time, team trust erodes, resentment builds, and collaboration suffers.
How Narcissists Create Conflict & Resentment in Teams
✅ 1. Monopolizing Credit & Downplaying Others' Contributions
They thrive on individual recognition, so they often claim full ownership of team successes.
Example: A sales executive brags about closing a major deal but fails to mention the behind-the-scenes work of analysts, marketers, and account managers.
✅ 2. Undermining & Intimidating Colleagues
To stay on top, they may spread misinformation, question others' competence, or sabotage colleagues.
Example: A team member "accidentally" leaves a coworker off an important email thread, ensuring they miss key updates.
✅ 3. Stifling Collaboration to Maintain Control
Narcissists prefer one-way conversations, where they dictate and others follow.
Example: In meetings, a narcissistic employee interrupts frequently and dismisses alternative ideas, making the team feel unheard.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Amazon's "Rank and Yank" Era – Team-Level Fallout
During Amazon’s early hyper-growth phase, employees were ranked against one another, and low performers were routinely cut—even if they were strong team contributors.
This structure encouraged narcissistic behaviors:Team members would take credit for others’ work, undermine colleagues, and hoard information to stay ahead in the stack ranking system.
One internal memo noted that some high performers actively sabotaged team cohesion just to secure their own advancement. Collaboration suffered, and resentment ran deep—especially among employees who did the behind-the-scenes work but weren’t loud about it.
Key takeaway:
Narcissistic behavior often thrives in performance systems that reward visibility over value—and when recognition is a zero-sum game, trust becomes the first casualty.
Psychological Safety and Morale: When Narcissists Poison the Work Environment
💭 How Trust & Engagement Erode Under a Narcissistic Team Member
Psychological safety—the ability to speak up without fear of humiliation or retaliation—is critical for high-functioning teams.
Narcissistic behavior directly undermines this, causing:
❌ 1. Fear of Speaking Up
Employees avoid challenging the narcissist to prevent conflict or retaliation.
Example: A junior designer has a great idea but stays silent because they know their narcissistic coworker will shut it down publicly.
❌ 2. Increased Stress & Emotional Drain
Constant competition, manipulation, and micromanagement create a toxic work environment.
Example: A team lead is exhausted from constantly managing tension between a narcissistic colleague and the rest of the group.
❌ 3. Higher Turnover & Employee Disengagement
When employees feel undervalued and unheard, they disengage—or leave.
Example: A high-potential manager quits rather than endure the narcissist’s toxic behavior.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 "Brilliant Jerks" in Silicon Valley – Many tech companies tolerate hyper-competitive, toxic employees because of their individual contributions—only to later realize their behavior caused mass resignations. Netflix e.g. famously banned them in their internal culture deck!
Preventing Burnout & Stress in Teams Affected by Narcissistic Colleagues
✅ 1. Normalize Giving Public Credit to All Contributors
Team leaders should highlight contributions fairly in meetings and reports.
Example: A project manager ensures every contributor is named in presentations and stakeholder updates.
✅ 2. Establish Clear Boundaries & Behavior Expectations
Set ground rules for professional conduct to minimize toxic interactions.
Example: HR enforces a zero-tolerance policy for sabotage, gaslighting, or public humiliation.
✅ 3. Foster a Culture of Peer Support
Encourage team members to recognize and uplift each other, reducing narcissists' power.
Example: A team Slack channel dedicated to shoutouts and appreciation counters the narcissist’s self-promotion.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Anna Wintour at Vogue – The longtime editor-in-chief of Vogue Magazine is known for her authoritative leadership and demanding perfection.
While she led Vogue’s rise to global influence, many former employees describe a culture of fear, intimidation, and exclusivity, making teamwork difficult.
Innovation Blockers: When Narcissism Silences Creativity
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A product team holds a brainstorming session for a new feature.
The narcissistic team member dominates the conversation, immediately dismissing any ideas that aren’t their own.
The result?
Less innovation, less risk-taking, and a stagnating team.
Great ideas don’t survive in fear-driven environments.
A narcissistic colleague can turn collaborative spaces into personal power plays, limiting creativity.
How Narcissists Stifle Innovation
❌ 1. Groupthink & Idea Suppression
Employees self-censor, only suggesting "safe" ideas that won’t upset the narcissist.
Example: A marketing team avoids suggesting bold campaigns because their narcissistic coworker shoots them down instantly.
❌ 2. Refusing to Acknowledge or Support Others’ Ideas
They hijack discussions to push their own agenda.
Example: A narcissistic strategist rejects all competitor research, insisting their own vision is the only one that matters.
Strategies to Encourage All Voices in Brainstorming Sessions
✅ 1. Structured Participation in Meetings
Use round-robin discussions or anonymous idea submissions to prevent dominant personalities from taking over.
Example: A digital whiteboard tool (Miro, Mural, Jamboard) lets everyone submit ideas anonymously, ensuring diverse input.
✅ 2. Create a No-Interruption Rule
Enforce equal speaking time to prevent a single voice from drowning out others.
Example: "Each person has two minutes to present their idea without interruption."
✅ 3. Use Data & Testing to Make Decisions
Avoid ego-driven choices by requiring evidence-based decision-making.
Example: Instead of following one person’s gut instinct, teams A/B test multiple ideas to find what truly works.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Netflix’s "No Brilliant Jerks" Policy – Unlike many tech companies, Netflix prioritizes team health over individual brilliance, ensuring bold innovation without toxic workplace politics.
“We don’t tolerate brilliant jerks. The cost to teamwork is too high.”
Recognizing Narcissistic Behaviors
Narcissistic team members don’t always announce their presence with blatant arrogance—sometimes, their tactics are subtle, calculated, and disguised as ambition. They may initially seem charming, hardworking, and driven, but over time, patterns of manipulation, entitlement, and toxicity emerge.
Recognizing behavioral red flags and spotting repeated patterns is key to identifying narcissistic influences before they damage team dynamics.
Behavioral Red Flags: How to Spot a Narcissistic Team Member
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A sales team is competing for a major client deal.
One team member constantly promotes their individual contributions, ignores teamwork, and builds strategic alliances with upper management.
Behind the scenes, they spread rumors about colleagues and subtly sabotage teammates to stay ahead.
This behavior may not be obvious at first, but over time, the pattern becomes clear: this person prioritizes self-preservation over collaboration.
Key Red Flags of Narcissistic Team Members
✅ 1. Excessive Self-Promotion & Focus on Personal Success
They talk more about what they’ve accomplished than what the team has achieved.
Example: A project lead emphasizes their role in a successful launch but fails to credit designers, engineers, or marketers.
✅ 2. Manipulative Tactics: Favoritism, Gossip, & Sabotage
They play office politics strategically, building relationships that protect their position while isolating perceived threats.
Example: A narcissistic team member befriends key decision-makers, ensuring they are always in the loop while others are left out.
✅ 3. Dismissing or Devaluing Others’ Contributions
They downplay or outright ignore the work of others.
Example: In meetings, they cut off colleagues mid-sentence, insisting that their idea is the only one that matters.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Eddie Haskell Syndrome at Enron – At Enron, certain mid-level traders and analysts gained internal power not through collaboration, but through strategic flattery, manipulation, and internal politics.
Some employees, known internally as “Eddie Haskells” (a reference to a two-faced TV character), presented as charming and loyal to leadership while undermining peers, hoarding information, and gaslighting colleagues who questioned shady practices.
These team members weren’t at the top—but they played key roles in creating a culture of fear, deception, and performance theatre. Their influence eroded trust, silenced ethical dissent, and contributed to a system where everyone knew something was wrong, but no one felt safe enough to stop it.
Key takeaway:
Toxic influence doesn’t require a title. In high-pressure environments, narcissistic team members can destabilize entire departments—especially when performance is prized over integrity.
Spotting Patterns: Recognizing Repeated Narcissistic Behavior
Narcissists don’t occasionally engage in these behaviors—they repeat them consistently.
One-time confidence is not narcissism, but when patterns emerge across multiple interactions, teams, and projects, it’s a sign of a deeper issue.
Common Patterns of Narcissistic Team Members
❌ 1. Frequent Conflicts with Peers
They struggle to maintain long-term, stable work relationships.
Example: A tech startup employee has a history of clashing with every team they’ve been on—yet always blames others for the dysfunction.
❌ 2. A Lack of Genuine Collaboration in Team Efforts
They act as if teamwork is a competition, not a shared effort.
Example: A consultant hoards important client data, ensuring that colleagues can’t succeed without their input.
❌ 3. Playing the Victim When Confronted
When called out, they flip the narrative, portraying themselves as the wronged party.
Example: A narcissistic marketer is accused of taking credit for someone else’s campaign—they respond by saying they’re being "unfairly attacked out of jealousy."
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Lance Armstrong & the Cycling Doping Scandal – Armstrong was once a celebrated athlete, but his pattern of denying, deflecting, and attacking whistleblowers showed classic narcissistic manipulation tactics. He destroyed the reputations of those who challenged him, only to later admit to systemic doping.
Strategies for Managing Narcissistic Team Members
Narcissistic team members can be difficult to manage, but with the right strategies, their negative impact can be minimized while preserving team cohesion. Instead of engaging in power struggles or outright confrontation, managers should set firm boundaries, reinforce team values, and create structures that limit their ability to dominate.
This chapter covers 1:1 management tactics, team-wide strategies, and conflict resolution techniques to ensure that narcissistic behaviors don’t undermine collaboration and morale.
1:1 Management: Directly Addressing Narcissistic Behaviors
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A talented but difficult senior analyst consistently overshadows teammates, dismisses feedback, and claims full credit for group work.
The manager must address their behavior without alienating them or escalating tensions.
Key 1:1 Strategies for Managing Narcissistic Team Members
✅ 1. Set Clear Boundaries & Expectations Early
Establish non-negotiable workplace norms that prioritize collaboration over individual dominance.
Example: "In this team, we credit contributions fairly, and decisions are made collectively."
✅ 2. Reinforce Team-Oriented Goals & Success Metrics
Shift their focus from personal achievements to shared success by using KPIs that reward teamwork.
Example: Instead of "best performer of the quarter," use "most impactful collaborative project."
✅ 3. Provide Constructive Feedback Tied to Specific Behaviors
Avoid generalized feedback—narcissists will dismiss vague criticism as jealousy or bias.
Example: Instead of "You don’t collaborate well," say "I noticed that you cut off three colleagues in our last meeting.
In our team, we allow space for all voices."
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Sheryl Sandberg’s Leadership Style at Meta – Sandberg is known for holding ambitious individuals accountable while maintaining a collaborative environment, using clear performance expectations tied to teamwork rather than self-promotion.
Team-Level Strategies: Structuring Collaboration to Minimize Narcissistic Influence
💭 Why a Strong Team Culture Neutralizes Narcissism
Narcissists thrive in unstructured environments where power dynamics are undefined.
By creating team norms that reward accountability and inclusivity, their influence can be controlled without direct confrontation.
How to Reinforce a Collaborative Culture
✅ 1. Foster a Culture of Accountability Where Results Matter More than Personal Branding
Use objective performance metrics to prevent narcissists from taking credit for others' work.
Example: A software development team uses version control systems (GitHub) to track
contributions, ensuring clear visibility into who did what.
✅ 2. Encourage Inclusivity by Actively Soliciting Input from All Team Members
Structure meetings so that everyone has a chance to contribute, not just the loudest voices.
Example: A marketing director ensures every team member submits ideas anonymously before brainstorming sessions, preventing dominant personalities from taking over.
✅ 3. Use Structured Collaboration Tools to Limit One Person Dominating Discussions
Implement shared documentation and decision-making tools to prevent narcissists from controlling narratives.
Example: A finance team uses Google Docs with tracked edits so that individual contributions are transparent and verifiable.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 Pixar’s "Braintrust" Model – Pixar’s feedback process ensures no single voice dominates creative decisions by requiring every idea to be challenged and refined collectively.
Conflict Resolution: Addressing Narcissistic Disruptions Without Escalation
Scenario for Better Understanding:
A senior project manager notices rising tensions between a narcissistic team member and their colleagues.
Complaints about credit-hoarding, dismissiveness, and manipulative behavior have surfaced. Instead of reacting impulsively, the manager steps in strategically.
How to Address Narcissistic Disruptions Effectively
✅ 1. Address Disruptive Behaviors Privately to Avoid Public Confrontations
Public humiliation triggers defensiveness—private feedback ensures the conversation stays productive.
Example: Instead of calling someone out in a team meeting, a manager schedules a 1:1 conversation to discuss behavioral concerns.
✅ 2. Mediate Conflicts by Focusing on Outcomes Rather Than Personal Grievances
Keep discussions centered on team goals rather than personal attacks.
Example: Instead of "You’re making everyone uncomfortable," say "We need better collaboration to meet our project deadline. How can we adjust our approach?"
✅ 3. Set Up Peer Feedback Loops to Keep Narcissists Accountable
Use anonymous 360-degree feedback to give narcissists a reality check on how their behavior affects the team.
Example: A consulting firm conducts quarterly peer reviews, ensuring that team dynamics—not just client results—affect performance evaluations.
📌 Real-World Example:
💡 The Boeing Crisis & Accountability Gaps – Boeing’s failure to address internal leadership conflicts and ethical concerns early on led to a series of catastrophic corporate missteps, highlighting the importance of proactively addressing toxic behavior before it escalates.
🔜 Next Steps
Now that we’ve covered how to manage narcissistic team members through direct feedback, team structures, and conflict resolution, the next section will explore how to prevent narcissistic behavior from emerging in teams through strong hiring practices, leadership development, and workplace culture shifts.
Are you ready to build a workplace where teamwork thrives and self-serving behavior is kept in check?
Stay tuned!
🛑 Note:
What you’ve just read is one curated slice of a larger, interactive leadership module.
The full course includes frameworks for managing narcissism, handling conflict, hiring smarter—and transforming difficult dynamics into sustainable growth
🧠 Ready to Go Deeper?
What you’ve just read is only one section of the full leadership module“Narcissism in the Workplace” – a deep dive into one of the most misunderstood and most damaging dynamics in modern organizations.
The full module includes:
🎧 Audio-based lessons to guide you step-by-step
📓 Workbooks, templates & red flag lists to apply instantly
🧰 Hiring, onboarding & intervention tools to build a team that thrives
🎯 Conversation scripts & behavior strategies to protect clarity and collaboration
✅ Skill checks & reflection prompts to sharpen your leadership in real time
And yes—next, we go into the C-suite:
🔥 How to recognize narcissism in leadership
🔥 Why toxic leaders are rewarded (and how to change that)
🔥 What to do when you report to the problem
If this excerpt gave you clarity…Imagine what the full program will unlock.
Whether you're leading a team, navigating complex dynamics, or building a culture of trust—this course gives you the tools to lead with clarity, boundaries, and emotional intelligence.
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